It is soooooo hard now that E could be pregnant. During all of the planning stages, I was so relaxed. Everything was exciting, and I knew it would be okay. I felt like whenever it happened it would be great. Now, despite being a previously completely patient person, I cannot wait. I want to know! I want E to be pregnant! I want to be with her every minute. I want to know every sensation she is feeling. I feel very protective of her. E, on the other hand, the totally impatient one, is cool as a cucumber. She's just "la de dah....everything is fine." What the hell? Where did that come from?
Whenever I have pictured having a child, it was fully formed. I was feeding a baby. I was chasing a toddler. I was teaching a kid to ride a bike. Never in my head was I taking my love to the doctor to get the stuff, waiting for two weeks, wondering incessantly if it worked. I want so desperately for it to work.
If this isn't the time, we will both be fine. However, I'd like it a lot better if we got lucky this time. And, this is only day two.....whew.
m
P.S. Thank you for all the positive wishes. We'd be lost without the blogs and our cyber baby world.
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3 comments:
Do you feel a bit freaked out that it might actually have worked? I remember on our first try I felt rather overwhelmed at the idea that we might have done something as momentous as create a baby. Not long to wait now!
This will only be the first of many surprising moments and emotions E has for you over the next year! I'm going to the Drug store and stand and read all those funny boxes that you pee on the stick for it to turn pink blue...sure I'll look a bit funny doing that holding my menopause medication, my gray hair and wrinkles but what the heck.....I can't wait 2 weeks....you got to pee one more time on a stick for us! NM
Waiting is the worst. I am constantly asking S if she is feeling ok. If she has a sniffle or a headache I secretly rejoice. It is consuming...and we have done this for years!
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