Saturday, July 28, 2007

Cycle 4, 6dpo

The history:
Cycle 1: Lots of symptoms (woozy, tired, sore breasts), but no positive.
Cycle 2: Waste of money. Ovulated too late to even make it worth the try.
Cycle 3: Clomid but ovulated too late to try.

Present time:
Cycle 4: We think our timing was good. Double the dose of clomid and ovulated on Day 16. Some ovulation sensation later in the day after E was inseminated. None of the symptoms from Cycle 1 are present this time. E had some cramping on Day 4. She has felt mildly woozy a couple times...could be hunger or something else.

The most obvious "you are not like yourself" sign is that she is extraordinarily tired. I don't mean a few yawns. I mean she fell asleep on the couch last night at 7 p.m., dragged herself to bed at 10 and got up this morning at 7 a.m. We did our usual hang out on Saturday morning, then went for a great hike, came home and ate lunch. After lunch E laid down and slept for about 45 minutes. It is fun to watch her lay on the couch completely konked out. She is like a little kid. Cute.

We are trying not to think too much about it. We are trying to forget about what day it is and just enjoy the end of our summer together. Next week we are taking a mini-vacation. We have agreed not to test too early.


Thursday, July 26, 2007


Thanks Sara and Erin for tagging us. We think this will be a good distraction for us, too, while we are in the TWW. Here are the rules: Let others know who tagged you.Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag 8 other people and tell them they’ve been tagged.

1. E and I were friends for years before we became more. Actually, we didn't like talking face to face. We emailed all the time and went to dinner once a week.

2. E was one of my many bosses. I don't think I can say any more. heheh

3. One of the wonderful things about our relationship is that we are both more introverted than extroverted. While we have many friends, there is nothing we like better than hanging out with just each other. We love being in our house with our dog, riding bikes together, and reading every night before falling asleep.

4. In the summer we eat sugar free popsicles like they are crack.

5. We each have two bicycles......and they have names.

6. M didn't talk to me for the entire first year she knew me (I was a new teacher).

7. M eats the exact same breakfast every day for years - whole wheat muffin with peanut butter.

8. We have huge fights over the thermostat.

We are tagging Jennifer, Kim and M, and Wendy and Karen.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Sweet Tea

Yesterday's insemination was a very nice experience. I loved going to the clinic and being the only ones there. The PA was so nice and positive. The room was great and it even had a lava lamp in it - very cool. I adored that M got to help. She was very brave and fun about the entire thing. It did hurt a little more than normal, but it passed quickly. My favorite part was after it was all done and M and I sat on the table together and laughed about the entire experience. She has a great laugh and smile.

I started to have ovulation pain last night but nothing severe.....until....the middle of the night. My left side hurt so bad that I thought I was going to throw up. I have read that using clomid might make ovulation more painful. It hurt the most from about 5 am until 9am. I had to take just hurt too bad. Now, it just feels sore and a little bloated.

I drank sweet tea as opposed to beer tonight. So, let the TWW begin.


Sunday, July 22, 2007

lending a helping hand

We had no idea what to expect from this clinic and we didn't choose it because initially it didn't seem as nice. It was busy, older, and the rooms were small. But today, we had a great experience.

E called this morning, talked to the PA and we got to choose a time. We met at a clinic on the other side of town. We walked into a beautiful building. There were very few cars in the parking lot and when we got to our floor, we were the only ones there. The PA came out, gave us a warm smile and a good handshake, and took us to a room. It was clean and quiet. The PA was very nice and professional.

After we got settled, she came back and said, "The sperm like to stay warm. Here." Then she handed me the vial. Totally great. Given that I can't be really involved, it was great to even hold the vial. She left again and I was all grins. So was E. She returned with the syringe and catheter...and asked if I wanted to help. I know that is sometimes an option, but I hadn't been asked at the other clinic. I never thought much about it. The second she said it though, I knew I wanted to. So, after everything was ready, I got to push the plunger on the syringe to start the little guys on their way. The process wasn't gross or weird. For the first time I really felt part of everything.

The PA said she had to do some work in her office around the corner and we were welcome to stay as long as we liked. We stayed for about 15 minutes talking and enjoying our peace and quiet. No one asked about payment or what to do if it doesn't work. No one made small talk. If it works this time, we will have a wonderful memory of how it all came about.

On the way to the clinic this morning we had to run a couple errands. Fortunately, we had plenty of time because we drove right into the gay pride parade. We pulled over and watched the whole At our second stop, I had to explain that E was my partner so I could pick up an order. This is why I can't live anywhere else. Watching a gay parade, talking openly about my partner, and then helping to inseminate her.


P.S. As I was writing this, E said, "I just had a sharp left ovary pain." Excellent timing.

Lucky Day 16

Well -- it is that time again.

We got a positive OPK (Ovulator Predictor Kit) last night. We go in at 1 p.m. today.

We haven't used this clinic before so we really don't know what to expect. We'll see.....

Friday, July 20, 2007

CD #14

Cycle Day 14.

I have survived the worst of the clomid hot flashes. They are very minor, if at all, at this point. Clomid is an interesting drug; it makes me hungry and hot. The hot flashes are like waves of hot crashing through my chest and arms. I now pee on a stick every morning between 10a.m.-11a.m. and wait for the egg symbol to pop up on the machine. We will add a night time check around bedtime tonight.

Someone posted that this is the hardest part of the cycle and I agree. You have no control over this part and you have no idea when it is going to happen -- could it be today? will it be before day 20? what day is too late? when do we fine out we have to skip another month? During the TWW (two week wait) you know when it will be over. You take the test and get your period and you know that you are done. During the "waiting for ovulation phase" your entire life looks like this:

*if I get a + today then we will go tomorrow morning - but it is a weekend so we have to go across town
*if I get + Saturday, then we will have to go in on Sunday and of course across town
*if I get a + Sunday, then we have to go on Monday, but I am working and I will have to re-arrange meeting A, B, and C

You are just in a constant game of schedule management.

Another thought:

Silver lining. I am a pretty positive person and I have found my silver lining to not being pregnant on the 1st try or the 2nd try or the no-try 3rd time. The silver lining is that we have been able to slow down and think. When you first start this process there are tons of new words, patterns, doctors, processes, and people. It is all very exciting and people are positive and you feel overwhelmed with the idea that in nine months you could be a mother. But, for whatever reason it doesn't happen. You become a patient. You follow sets of instructions. You are not ever going to be a one-hit wonder. It isn't going to be easy. You are going to have to work for it. Your mind shifts.

You become committed to trying. You no longer become committed to being a parent. You promise to try, to follow doctors' orders, to take the drugs, pee on the sticks, and save money. One begins to think about what life would be like without a child and find comfort in being with your partner. You are committed to trying, to praying about it, and to hoping for the best. You really can't let your mind decorate the nursery -- you can only be committed and focused on trying to get to that point.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

puppy love

Aaahhhhhhhhh.......home at last. We enjoyed the time away and are glad to be back. I think the worst part was that our golden retriever had to go to the kennel while we were away. I have had her since she was 7 weeks old and now she is 7 years old. She is a great dog and everyone immediately falls in love with her. E used to be very wary of the dog...she would try to move away and definitely did not enjoy the slobber. When we dropped the dog off at the kennel, E cried. Times change. The golden is so much a part of our life. The house just doesn't seem the same when she's not around.

While we were on our trip, I read Marley and Me. It's a good, fun read. But I should not have read it while the dog was not with me. If you love a dog, have ever loved a dog, or have ever thought about wanting a dog, you should read the book. It is hysterically funny and sweet. I was very happy when my dog came running into my arms.

On the baby front, E is taking twice the clomid dose and has started having hot flashes. In addition to being fun to watch her go from pink to red and "glowing," I also like it because I feel like at least something is happening. Hopefully the increased dose will get us going in a more timely fashion.


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Cycle #4

Cycle #1: a possible hit, but nothing to report
Cycle #2: late ovulation (Day 21) but inseminated anyways
Cycle #3: 50 mgs of clomid, hot flashes, late ovulation (Day 25) - no insemination
Cycle #4: Doctor upped my clomid to 100 mgs and we will wait for ovulation

We just got back from a vacation of visiting family. The weather was hot, but we had a good time. We are home for a few weeks now with nothing to do and it is marvelous.