38 weeks

I have almost avoided posting because I didn't want M's poem to go down on the page, but I thought it was time. I am currently sitting on the back deck watching M build a raised bed for our vegetable garden this summer. She has half of her tools out here and is using all of them -- it is very cute. We hope to grow tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and maybe cucumbers this summer.

As I said, I am sitting on the deck with the laptop. M has called me pathetic all day. I am tired. I don't have a lot of energy at all. I wish I could convince her to lay in bed all day and read and nap, but we have gardens to build.

We went to the doctors on Friday and I am about the same, but Babygirl has dropped even lower into 0 station, which means her head is fully engaged in the pelvis. Doc says it could be anytime now or it could be 3 weeks. However, she doesn't believe in over cooking babies. We will have to be induced by May 18th at the latest. She would induce us on May 13th, one day past our due date. So, our major topic of discussion this weekend is when to be induced, if needed. We kinda like the 13th.

Being 38 weeks pregnant is quite tiring. My energy is low and I am still hungry all the time. I have a hard time sleeping at night for a variety of reasons. I am also somewhat emotional. M is trying very hard to humor me and trying not to anger the pregnant lady. I love her for that.

'Twas the night...

We have both been working very hard to get ready for BabyGirl to arrive, and now that we are this close we feel like every day is Christmas Eve and we are 10 years old. Every preparation has been made. I spent yesterday in the yard fertilizing the lawn, putting down mulch, and washing windows. I don't know how to explain it. I am so excited that time just does not want to go by. Work is just a little boring because I have all my planning and projects done, so I work with my kids but mostly I just wait for E to call me telling me it's time to go. In my head I know it could be weeks before that happens, but now that we have everything done I have nothing else to think about. So, with apologies to Clement Moore, here's life in our house.

'Twas three weeks before childbirth, when all through the house
All the creatures were stirring, even the mice;

The onesies were hung in the nursery with care,
In hopes that BabyGirl soon would be there.

The mommies were excited and done with their chores,
They washed the windows and even the floors.

The baby keeps growing safe in E's belly,
And they got the dog groomed so she wouldn't be smelly.

So, here we sit watching BabyGirl grow,
Wishing the time didn't pass so slow.

m

37 Weeks

Yup. I am 37 weeks pregnant. I am full-term. If labor starts now, no one is going to try and stop it. This is a good thing. Also a little freaky -- I am not ready to let babygirl go yet.

Being 37 weeks pregnant is just funny at times. Each day it gets harder for me to move around. I grunt every time I need to make a large movement, like getting off the couch - out of bed - out of the car - etc... I have to pee every hour, if not every half hour. I am STARVING all the time. I could just sit around and eat all day, but I fight the urge. I eat plenty, trust me. The swelling varies from day to day based mainly on my salt intake. I have a general overall swelling that is constant, but if I eat too much salt I lose my wrists and ankles.

My friend L, with whom I work everyday, is committed to keeping me moving. She makes me walk the halls many times a day to keep my blood flowing and keep me active--even when I really don't want to walk...she makes me. She is tough and I like it. She has been an excellent friend through this entire experience. She also randomly shows up with pink dresses for babygirl -- she can't resist a sale or anything pink.

Babygirl appears to be quite happy in my belly. She has very strong movements now. She will have periods of awake time where she kicks, pushes her butt out, punches, and wiggles. M can sit and watch my belly just rock and roll. It is so fun to see her move around in there. The best is when all of a sudden she sticks her butt up and my belly grows vertically about 2 inches. We have great time watching and laughing. Then, she falls asleep and is quiet and still for hours.

The doctor told me on Friday that I can only work 8 hours a day from now on and I think that is awesome. I usually don't work more than 9 hours a day, but about a couple of times a month I pull a 13 hour day. Monday was going to be a good 13 hour day, but not anymore. I am freed from the pressure of having to wear myself out. I finally have permission to say no. It feels good.

M has been so awesome lately. I think she is totally in love with me being pregnant. She is very protective and doesn't like to be far away from me, which is good because I feel the same way. She smiles at me all the time, cooks, cleans, fixes stuff, and is very aware of my comfort. She has been the perfect spouse during this entire affair. I have chosen an excellent partner, lover, friend, and co-parent. She still pushes me to do all I can do, but she realizes that it gets harder each day -- sometimes each hour.

Being pregnant isn't a bad gig. It takes energy and I have forgotten what it is like to have my body all to myself, but I will have it back soon enough. I am dreaming of sleeping on my back and on my stomach. I am dreaming of an ice-cold beer on a hot day. I am dreaming of a happy and healthy babygirl.

E-

More Random Thoughts

* We went to the doctor today and found out that E is 70% effaced and dilated about 1 centimeter. The baby is in stage -1. What all that means is that BabyGirl is low and not ready to come out yet. However, we are making progress. The doctor also believes that E will have no problem getting the baby through her pelvis.

* E's aunt sent us a Pack and Play this week, so now we truly cannot think of anything else we need to be ready.

* We have both been working hard at school getting ready to leave before everyone else. As a matter of fact, we have both worked so hard that we are caught up and a little bored. There may be quite a bit of clock watching over the next few weeks.

* I have had the thought several times that this whole process is amazing before we even get to meet BabyGirl. I cannot speak for all lesbians, but I think the whole process of getting pregnant, sharing that with everyone, having baby showers, etc. has given me a view into the straight world. E and I have always had a support network, but this journey makes me feel that there are a whole lot of opportunities for a wide network that happens automatically for the straights. I don't mean it in a "poor lesbian" sort of way. I mean it in more of a "I feel so blessed to be a part of it" sort of way. I had no idea such an outpouring of support existed. People I have worked with for only a couple years have gone way out of their way to support us and give us wonderful gifts. Other friends and family have done more than ever imagined. Everyone has asked a million questions and offered to help however possible. It is an instant connection with people I have no other connection with. Now, we are part of another group...parents. It makes me feel even more confident that everything will be okay once BabyGirl gets here.

* We are so excited. E is doing great. She looks great. BabyGirl is having party after party in there. I can't wait to meet her.

m

Are we ready?

This weekend was dedicated to getting ready for babygirl. We are due in one month and we want to be ready.



I also want to spend the last few weeks enjoying the end of carrying our babygirl and not stressed out about what we still need to do. So .. here goes our list of accomplishments...



1. Made list of final items that we needed.

2. Went to outlet mall and bought some of the cutest little sleepers/onesies on the planet. We also got socks, mittens, crib pads, etc...

3. Picked up a new pairs of jeans for M...we were there anyways.

4. Target. A Target shopping trip to remember...we got all the baby medicine, boppie covers, lotions, on and on...we basically finished off our registry.

5. BabiesrUs. We bought a co-sleeper (after a week of debating about it....that ended with me in tears....hormones...tears come easy), a swing, and various other items.

6. Put co-sleeper together -- it is going to be great. Babygirl nows has a place to sleep when she comes home and it is right next to her mommas.

7. Washed all the new clothes and put them in the nursery.

8. Cleaned the entire house from top to bottom -- dusted everything...scrubbed anything that would stand still...M had to vacuum because I can't anymore. Vacuuming irritates my pelvic problem. In fact, the problem is almost gone since I gave up vacuuming. We even mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors.

9. Put swing together -- not as easy as you think.

10. M managed mountains of cardboard and various basement items.

11. Hung curtains in guestroom.

12. Did school work. I chose to do mine at 1 AM on Friday night. I woke up in a panic that I would have this baby too soon and no one would know where to start in my office. So, I made this huge list and emailed it to myself. M is doing hers now.

13. We also took a little time out to enjoy each other as well. We had a fun breakfast Saturday morning, watched a movie Saturday night, went to bed early, read the Sunday paper, and we are both engrossed in our current novels.



Wow. That was a lot. Four weeks. Four short little weeks. Our babygirl will join us in four short little weeks. She is totally worth all the work.



E-



P.S. I have a huge round belly, swollen feet, and I pee constantly. Totally worth it.

Long Week

It has been a long week at school. It is obvious that my belly has popped out and I am very, very pregnant. I get asked about 10 times a day "How much longer?" I don't know how much longer. I know that I am round, that my belly button is about to give up and pop out, that if I don't pee every hour that I risk pain like I have never know walking to the bathroom, and I know that babygirl wiggles all day long. That is really all I know.

Babygirl is quite funny. She wiggles and wiggles these days. She is head down and her butt moves from my right side to my left side. She doesn't like it when I sit up too straight. She prefer me to lean back and give her more room. She also still gets the hiccups twice a day. Something is starting to lean into my ribs, but it isn't constant.

35 Weeks Pregnant

It's getting harder. My belly is bigger, and it is even hard to type with the laptop on my lap because my lap is much smaller. I am feeling fine, but it is getting harder to move around. If I have been seated for awhile, it is hard to get up and get going. The first 10-15 steps are killer. I gave up vacuuming and that has helped my pelvis pain greatly. M often looks at me and just smiles with a hint of "I feel sorry for you," then she reminds me to do the dishes. I am slightly kidding, but she does expect me to continue to do anything I can around the house, which I secretly appreciate. I am glad she helps me to get off my butt and do something for as long as I can.

Babygirl is large. We can feel her cute little butt below my right set of ribs. She is bent in half and we can still watch her move around, but she can't move very much. It is very crowded in there. She will shake her butt every now and again and it is pretty cute. I am tall so she isn't "in my ribs" yet. She does, at times, push on my left hip bone.

I am thrilled M did all the painting over spring break (see previous post). She was a rock star with projects and they all look great. I am very happy the nursery is done -- finally.

Yesterday we visited with our new niece who is only 6 days old...she was so little and so very cute. We changed a dirty diaper and it cost 2 diapers, a washcloth, and the changing pad cover...we are rookies and our niece decided she wasn't done with her business, and we really weren't prepared for that. We knew it could happen, but we weren't prepared.

Today we cleaned up the yucky yard. We cut back our grasses, washed out the garage, and cleaned up all the front gardens...looks great and it is just waiting for sunshine. Oh, our tulips are coming up, too! YEAH! Spring! Spring! Spring!

Spring Break '08, baby!

I have been on spring break all week. I was desperate for the time away from school. I'm not sure if it's because of the baby excitement or if it has just truly been a hard year, but I was beyond my patience and ready to be done. So, I was thrilled to have an entire week of doing whatever I wanted. While I envisioned some time for just hanging out and reading, I was happy with every day. I did not get the time to read leisurely except before bedtime, but I had a ton of fun.

E and I made a long list of everything we had to get done before BabyGirl gets here. I spent the week trying to finish the most important items on the list while E was at work, earning more time off for after the baby is here.

When we started deciding what the nursery would look like, we didn't have any solid ideas. Then, we found a sheet that we really liked and everything stemmed from that...the idea of having flowers (whimsical mostly), pink and green, and reusing as much furniture as we could. Earlier this spring I repainted an old dresser. My dad made a changing table attachment for the top of the dresser that I also painted. This past week I painted the nursery and fixed and painted an old table we had. Everything turned out perfect. As somewhat of a tomboy all my life, I never would have dreamed I'd want my daughter's room pinked out but I love it. The flowers over the changing table/dresser are decals.

Most of my spring breaks have started with a loud yell of "Spring Break, baby!!" This year ends with a contented, excited, and ready "spring break....baby."

m

pain management...mine, not hers

Since our childbirth class on Saturday, E has been quite freaked out. It probably doesn't help that we also had a breastfeeding class on Monday. And, E realized that every woman she knows who has given birth in the last six months has been induced. Her last standing pregnancy buddy will be next very soon.

E and I discussed pain management. E wants to have whatever drugs necessary to not feel excessive pain during labor. I had a kidney stone a few years ago. We googled childbirth versus kidney stone, and some people feel the pain of the kidney stone was worse...others the reverse. Whatever...I know E will do great. Our doctor already knows about E's pain management request and agrees wholeheartedly.

We are on spring break this week, although E is working to earn some extra days. While she is at work I have been painting. I did the nursery on Monday and finished Tuesday morning. I started the laundry room yesterday and am finishing it today. They both look great and I like knowing that I am contributing while E is at work.

HOWEVER...I think the pain of painting is like the pain of childbirth. You just forget how painful it is. Otherwise, you'd never do it again.

m

P.S. I'll post pictures as soon as I can lift the camera.