i want my mtv

Our choice of an open donor was reaffirmed last night when we watched True Life on MTV. The episode was about teenagers with gay parents. For the most part they were typical teens...sometimes happy, sometimes angry...and like all teens, changing moment by moment. As a group, they did not seem to have any special challenges because of their families.

One young man interested us because he had lesbian parents...and very much wanted to know his donor. They had used an open donor, so their son had the opportunity to make phone calls and one face to face contact. Initially, their son was disappointed and angry that he was only guaranteed one face to face contact per the agreement made when the women chose the donor. However, he signed the form and received the man's name and phone number.

It seemed that he wanted to establish a relationship with the donor. He loved his moms but said he had wished he had a father in his life...that while he had father figures in his life, he wanted to know the real one. He labored over making the phone call. He was nervous, anxious, and probably a bit afraid of what the donor might say.

When he finally made the phone call, he and the donor had a short conversation and subsequent conversations over a few months. However, he had never met him when the show was made and seemed very content with that.

E and I were convinced that it was very important to have an open donor. Children have to have an identity. While this young man was well adjusted, happy with his life, and appreciative of his loving parents, it was vital to him to know his donor's name and age...to have some connection. We would never want to deprive a child of knowing their roots...of having the chance to know who they're a part of. We were also impressed with the lesbian couple. They encouraged their son. They were supportive of him the entire time. They could have been uneasy, jealous, or indifferent. Instead, they were full of acceptance and love...and so was their son.

m