Is this your first?

I went to the doctor's to have my blood work done. Our fertility clinic requires the basics....HIV, rubella, etc... testing prior to any procedures. I am not great with needles...not a total wuss, but sometimes they can't find my veins and they poke the crap out of my arm. Luckily, my bloodsucker was very good. When I sat down she read the lab test title: Prenatal. She asked, "Is this your first?"

I almost fell out of my chair. This is something I ask, I am not asked that question. It was a wild feeling of someday I will hope to respond with, "yes." I gently told her I was trying to get pregnant, but I hadn't done it yet. I am sure she assumed I was a straight woman with a husband at home.

I wonder what it will feel like to truly be able to say, "Yes, this is my first." It is an exciting feeling. I am very thankful to have M on this journey with me. She didn't go with me to the blood test and I missed her, but it was fine. M is this great mix of excited and confident. She knows that she is ready, she knows that it will be great, and she knows that it will be hard. She is prepared for the journey; she is prepared for the struggle.

She is an endurance type athlete who isn't afraid of pain. She knows when to push herself and when to relax and take a break. She is one of the best people I know, and I couldn't imagine going on this journey with anyone else. It will be our first. And, she will protect me from bad bloodsuckers.