fence me in

We have the beginnings of a new fence around our yard. From the time we moved in, we planned on getting one, but we moved the timeline up when our dog decided she could cross the street whenever she wanted. I never relish the thought of the neighbors watching me try to corral her and she lays stealthily and then leaps away just before I can grab her. Even worse than that would be to see her get hit by a car. In addition to the dog's safety, we also secretly hope there's a baby/toddler/kid running around out there someday, too.



These are the days I feel bad for E. She's at work and found out today that yet another coworker is pregnant. We know probably six women that she works with who are pregnant. E congratulates them and is truly happy for them. But, I know that she also wonders why not us. It's only 2dpo, so we will keep our fingers crossed that soon there are seven women pregnant.



m

it's more of an 8-step program

1. Get a positive on the OPK that lights up like the 4th of July.
2. Be patient and don't get inseminated too soon.
3. Try not to wince as the physician's assistant jams the catheter in...in a not-so-gentle way.
4. Give the swimmers and the ovaries a pep talk. Let them know this is the donor's last shot.
5. Go back to work and play.
6. Forget that it's only been 2 hours and not 2 weeks.
7. Ignore any possible physical symptom.
8. And just keep waiting....

m

like clockwork

With the clomid, E is like clockwork. Today is CD15 and we have a positive on the OPK stick. Since E had the HSG and found out everything is clear, we have spent a lot of time thinking about timing. We think we may have inseminated too early the last couple times. So, we will wait until morning to go in and then we're right back in the two week wait. Woohoo!!!!

...and a lovely vest

So, E and I went in today for the powerwashing. As she said, everything is great. We feel like it was a good idea to know that physically all is well and that we have a greater chance for the next three months.

Moments in the x-ray room...
1. E cannot keep her hands off the toys. She wanted to see what the instruments looked like, what the chart said, what the little bottles said. She was playing with the stirrups (which looked like video game joysticks). If I hadn't been in the room, she would have taken the x-ray machine apart to see how it worked. I limited her to turning the lights on and off.


2. I had to wear a heavy vest to protect me from the x-rays. In hindsight, I probably should have taken it off for the 45 minutes we waited for the doctor. However, it was a lovely jewel-tone green that E said I looked great in. heheheh

3. We suck at 20 questions. Seriously, the city of Rome, Karl Rove, Thomas Jefferson, and a bike chain. Those were the best we could do.

4. E did great. She only winced a couple times and never let loose with the swear words that are usually on the tip of her tongue when she's in pain or frustrated.

5. After office visits, I usually think our doctor is a little perfunctory, but today he was awesome...very reassuring, very kind. Maybe office visits bore him.

So, we are ready for the next try. We hope that after the HSG the little swimmers think they're on a water slide.

m

20 questions

We made it through it. We arrived on time. We checked in. We met the nurse. We then waited.....for 45 minutes on the doctor. We played rounds of 20 questions. M wouldn't let me touch hardly anything in the room (I like to complete a thorough inspection of everything in the room).

Finally, the Doc arrives and he does all sorts of stuff to get the dye ready. It hurts. I won't lie. I squeezed M's hand and tried to relax. It hurt for about 2-3 minutes, but then I relaxed and we had a break before the dye was injected.

We saw the entire thing on the monitor. Dye flowing through my insides and I could feel it expanding everything (hurt for another 1-2 minutes). Then they ask you to turn and make sure everything is clear.

I am all clear. I have a perfectly shaped uterus. Both tubes were open and able to accept the dye. That is all good news. I currently feel a little crampy, but nothing too serious.

Now, we wait for ovulation. It should be around next Monday. It is the last chance with our current donor. After that, we have to choose someone new.

E-

hello, yeah, it's been a while

(everyone over 40 is humming...england dan and john ford coley, for those of you wondering)



E told me it's been a while since I've blogged...



E and I went to the doctor yesterday, and the three of us decided that E should have an HSG. The formal name is hysterosalpingogram, but we prefer to call it a good pressurewashing. It's a test to make sure the tubes are not blocked and the uterus is healthy. We decided that we should have it done now because a.) why keep trying before making sure the pathway is clear? and b.) it's a last shot at using E's insurance before she drops hers at the end of the month and is only on mine. I haven't done all the research I want to do, but I know that it can range from somewhat to quite painful. A little anesthesia is involved and E is sensitive to it, so in addition to the usual mild cramping and bleeding experienced by most women, E could also have some nausea and vomiting. One possible benefit of the test is that you have an increased chance of becoming pregnant for the next three months or so after having it. We'll see.



I feel bad that E has to go through all this. She's back on the clomid, although the hot flashes seem to be more tolerable. I think it is hard for her to not be pregnant yet because she loves being above average in everything. I think sometimes she wants to strangle me (or at least give me a good pop) because I don't appear to be as upset as she is. I think it's different not being the one attempting to carry the baby. I don't physically feel what she feels, and no matter how hard I try to be involved with timing and doctor's appointments and everything else...I simply am not peeing on sticks nor putting my feet in the stirrups.



...and maybe I should stop teasing her about having twins....Mary and Larry...



m

Back to School

We are off to the doctor's tomorrow to discuss our plan. It is frustrating not to be pregnant yet, but we still have time.

I am actually sad not to be in the TWW. I like days 1dpo through 10 dpo. Those days are full of hope and excitement. There is a lot of dreaming and hoping. Around day 10 it starts to go bad -- negative after negative after negative.

We are CD 3 and I am sure I will start the clomid tomorrow - which means I expect the hot flashes by the weekend...woohoo! I actually find them quite funny at this point. And, it helped with ovulation last month so I am willing to do it again.

My summer is over and I am back at work -- it isn't that bad because there are no kids or teachers, but I am having to put on makeup everyday...heheh

Oh, and excellent news from M's family. Her little sister is pregnant. We are excited for her -- she has been trying for awhile too.

The Two Week Wait

1. We are not pregnant. I haven't gotten my period, but it is DPO 12 and nothing on the test. There should at least be a faint line by now. We are using the FRER (First Response Early Response test).

2. I think there are two very hard parts of this entire process. First is waiting for ovualtion -- where you have to pee on a ton of sticks all the time. Second is the last few days of the TWW - where you are hopeful and then crushed - then hopeful - then crushed, etc., etc., etc....

3. I know that this child (when ever he or she arrives) will be blessed and know that they were wanted, worked for, and loved from the first thought of them. And, I have a blog to prove it. ;)

Now, I have a rant. I believe this TWW is a form of torture that should be resolved. Why is it that...

It takes:
2 days to get to the moon
2-6 hours to take a living heart out of one person and place it into another
40 hours to fly around the entire world

AND -

Someone took the time to figure out that we have about 25,000 genes.
Some took the time to create about 64 million websites.

And YET - no one on the entire planet of 6 billion people can figure out how to know if a woman is pregnant or not in less that two weeks. (okay with a really sensitive test and really early implantation - maybe a little over a week...but, come on!) GIVE ME A BREAK!

There - that is my rant. I had to put it here because M is sick and tired of hearing me give her the same lecture everytime we go through the TWW.

Thanks for all the well wishes. August is going to be our lucky month. It was the original start date that we moved up. We are going to the doctors on Wednesday and looking forward to a new plan.

E-

So far

We got back from our mini-vacation which was full of adventure...and tested and nothing. Nothing. Nada. It's DPO 10.

I am not feeling anything. It might not be our month. We will know for sure in about 2 days.

I find the 1 week of the TWW quite fun because it is full of hope. The second week is full of dread.

E-